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Dana Carvey, Unfunny Racist Motherfucker

12-Mar-10

I had the misfortune to catch Dana Carvey for a minute on the Tonight Show last night.

Check the second video at that link where he comes across with his Ching Chong squinty Chinese voice and Kwiki-Mart-grade Indian accent.

Can you imagine anyone ever thought this shithead was funny?

Je suis l’ennemi de l’État

10-Mar-10

This is a Moveon.org prank video thing, where they stick your name and photo (from facebook) in a fake news story about Glen Beck. It’s been done before — but when my utterly ridiculous Facebook profile photo showed up in the video it cracked me up.



My profile photo, note the phantom lights and Newcastle Brown Ale…

Which was taken by the inimitable Dina:

Carol Audrey Rosvald Malcolm

01-Mar-10

Tomorrow is my mother-in-law’s 80th Birthday! She has lived a remarkable life — her mom died when she was quite young, and her father couldn’t take care of her, so she bounced around, living with several relatives and family friends, and was living on her own before she was out of high school. She taught school, raised four remarkable children, and ran her own small business for over thirty years. She has always been wonderful and supportive to Melissa and I.

This picture was taken sometime in the early 40s, probably 1943. It was a creased wallet photo that I spent some time restoring; the fact that it scanned and blew up so well is a testament to the amazing quality of black and white film photography.

Carol Audrey Rosvald, Age 13

Enough with the ED Spam already…

26-Feb-10

Bomb track: Black Coffee feat. Zakes Bantwini “Juju”

25-Feb-10

DJ Mix: Autechre Retrospective

25-Feb-10

In the process of writing my review of Oversteps today, I listen to bits and pieces of the entire Autechre discography. Maybe it was because I was trying to listen critically to Oversteps, but something about Autechre clicked in my head in a way it maybe hadn’t before. There are times when they’re experimenting and doing crazy messy stuff with the beats, but a lot of the time they’re trying to synthesize their own kind of funkiness. Moody, autistic broken robot funk maybe, but funk nonetheless.

So I pulled together all my Autechre CDs and downloads and tried to select something from every release that spoke to me as a compelling piece, and then started trying to arrange them together in a way that made rhythmic sense and had some flow. You’ll be the judge of whether I managed to pull it off, but it was really fun trying. I had to go from 75BPM to 167BPM in a little over the hour — by the time I got to ‘Sublimit’ I went crazy with the effects, so it’s kind of an ad hoc remix/hit job.

I think I hit every release aside from their remixes and odd stuff like the Hafler Trio collaboration.

If you don’t like Autechre at all I don’t think I’m necessarily going to change your mind about them. But if you have any interest, give a listen.

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http://music.cornwarning.com/audio/Chaircrusher-AutechreRetrospective-DJMix.mp3

Second Peng Anvil Vapre
Know1 Oversteps
Tewe Chiastic Slide
Treale Oversteps
Chatter Artificial Intelligence 2
V-Proc Draft 7:30
Rale Quaristice
d-sho qub Oversteps
Montreal Amber
Surripere Draft 7.30
Bike Incunabula
Eutow Tri Repetae++
Bcdtmx BassCad EP
Cfern Confield
Tilapia Cichlisuite
Dial Gantz Graf
Sublimit Untilted

Picture is by Alice Rosenbaum and I straight up jacked it without permission.

Review: Autechre “Oversteps”

24-Feb-10

There are few musicians whose music is as polarizing as Autechre. It would be one thing if they were resolutely in the experimental music camp. The avant-garde have their audience, who embrace abstraction and difficulty, and revel in sound only marginally less random than brownian motion. But Autechre occupies a strange middle ground between the experimental and the popular; at the outset of their career they made music that was occasionally accessible, at least within the context of the early 90s ‘Intelligent Dance Music’ that bloomed in the penumbra of UK Rave Culture. They soon pushed beyond any sort of recognizable ties to any genre of popular music, alienating a new cohort of fans with each release. Over eight albums, and more EPs than I had the patience to count on discogs.com, they’ve bobbed and weaved into and out of abstract electronica, instrumental hip hop and rave music. It’s hard to greet any new Autechre release with any initial reaction other than bafflement — it takes some listening to determine if they’re being brilliant or annoyingly obtuse, or both at once.

“Oversteps” is a phase transition for Autechre back into relative accessibility. I’m giving them pop points for keeping (mostly) a recognizable pulse, usually in 4/4 time, and cleaving (mostly) to traditional Western harmony. This is a good thing for a couple of reasons. First, it means the listener is never left without a trail of breadcrumbs to follow. Second, it means that they’re not letting their Aleatory Automation completely determine what’s happening. I’ve always thought I can tell whether machines or people are making compositional choices. While I might be fooled by especially clever computer programming that can pass a musical Turing test, I rarely think human-driven music seems arbitrary and pointless. People can and do make awful music, but at least there’s a human connection attempted even in their worst efforts. I’d rather listen to a human being imitating the sound of an Aeolian Harp than to the wind playing one. Even a human trying to sound random on purpose is more interesting than an actually random performance.

The track “known1″ perhaps synthesizes Autechre’s conflicting impulses to be abstract and to convey some human emotion. It opens with a looping minor key progression that could conceivably be performed by a human on a piano. About 90 seconds in a splattery, nasal counterpoint comes in and follows the general outline of the chord progression. As this higher sound falls out, there’s a B section that plays once through before again being visited by the splattery counterpoint. Employing what sounds like Karplus-Strong plucked string synthesis, the traditional harmony is subverted by a subtly “wrong” scale tuning and inharmonic overtones.

“Pt2ph8″ follows with a pentotonic clattering underpinned by a plucked bass. One would never accuse Autechre of conventionality in the structure of this track, but there is a couple of chord changes that signify to me a yearning melancholy as effectively as they would in a folk song. You can hear the random processes at work generating the off-kilter ornamentation, and yet they’re employing some overall macro control to pace and shape the sounds. There’s some drama to the pacing and satisfaction in the denouement, even if along the way there’s plenty of busy randomness.

The album opener “r ess” starts with a 30 second fade in that sounds like dead air for at least 20 seconds. The piece crawls slowly up from the noise floor, into what sounds like the ambiance of an East German train station, where a disorganized orchestra is playing through broken public address speakers. Gradually a beat totters in, replete with un-quantized swing and polyrhythms, only to trail off as vague tones fade in and out.

“ilanders” signature gesture is a long-form, swooping minor key bassline artfully distorted against (also artfully) distorted drums. The distortion is in the foreground of this piece, pulling your ear along with its continually variable texture. I know – sort of – how they achieve this effect — a combination of waveshaping distortion and frequency modulation — but they manage to make it sound interesting, and even attractive in its own mutant fashion. This means something to me because I know how to achieve something similar, but not how to do so in a way that isn’t just ugly and annoying.

“Oversteps” as a title seems to suggest that the pieces that comprise this album are somehow instances of going too far, or maybe that they are meant to convey the unsettling sensation one gets when miss a stair in the dark. I imagine this would be an apt reaction for someone who has never heard Autechre before. I’ve been listening to them for their entire 17 year career, and to me, “Oversteps” pulls back from the precipice a bit, and gives listeners some actual musical pleasure in return for their time. With these guys that isn’t always the case. Autechre is incapable of not being interesting, but they aren’t afraid to be frustrating. Some of their music makes you wonder why you bother even to listen, since they’re obviously are keeping whatever it is the music means to themselves. But “Oversteps” does not leave me feeling unsatisfied or cheated. It is certainly not for everyone, but in all the right ways, it seems like Autechre have deigned to stand quite a bit closer to their audience and even look them in the eye this time.

Listen to samples and/or purchase at Bleep.com

The Ballad of Winter Delacroix James

24-Feb-10

If you are wondering why my chat nickname is “dr. hitlerballs” google it

(tom/t-woww): why do people name their children summer and autumn but not also
winter and spring
(tom/t-woww): i ask
(luna/orgasmic): valid question
(kent/dr.hitlerballs): calling a girl winter would be kinda cool
(kent/dr.hitlerballs): if she was a 6 ft tall model with lethal cheekbones and
a permanent pout
(kent/dr.hitlerballs): Especially if she had a last name the sounded like a
first name
(kent/dr.hitlerballs): like Winter George
or Winter James
(kent/dr.hitlerballs): or Winter James
(kent/dr.hitlerballs): and a middle name that’s some fucked up family maiden
name
(kent/dr.hitlerballs): like Winter Delacroix James
(kent/dr.hitlerballs): if i could find that girl I could manage her
multimillion dollar modeling career and gracefully transition her to
feature film roles
(kent/dr.hitlerballs): and cry at her wedding to a billionaire financier from
Dubai
(rich/.): where she would fail miserably and take pr0n roles in desperation
(kent/dr.hitlerballs): nah with a name like winter delacroix james, she’d be
up for golden globes
(kent/dr.hitlerballs): tho winter james does sound like a porn name as well

Durban To Detroit To Chicago To London DJ Mix

21-Feb-10

In keeping with my new-found enthusiasm for South African Dance Music, this mix is heavy on stuff from Durban, with some detours to at least 2 other continents and an island nation….

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http://music.cornwarning.com/audio/Chaircrusher-DurbanDetroitChicagoLondon-DJ Mix.mp3
This is mostly live from my 1 hr radio substitute slot from last tuesday. Since it was recorded as a Live session I couldn’t resist changing a couple of things — in particular the last track is at 65 bpm and the previous one was at 140, so I jacked the 140 track up to 170 to match it, which wasn’t pretty. So I got rid of that weirdness and just mixed across an ambient intro, so that both tracks are at their natural tempo.

Anthony “Shake” Shakir Arize
Cndo feat. Big Nuz DJ Tira DJ Cleo & Professor 6 Pack
Black Coffee feat Zakes Juju
Chip E Time To Jack
Darque Presents Nompumeleleo Spirit Of Ubuntu
DJ Cheeze Afro Fever
DJ Sdoko Pelele
DJ Twitty vs DJ Thani Durban Rush 2
Roska Feeline VIP (Pioneer Bass Drop Remix)
Cooly G Dubplated
ATKI2 & DUB BOY Tigerflower (Grievous Angle Remix)
Fisherman Acid
Liaisons Dangereuses Peut-être… pas
Roska Climate Change
Hyetal Ice Cream
Pangaea Dead Living
Daega Sound Systems Kane’s Son
James Blake Air & Lack Thereof
ANS Always Sharp
Loops Haunt Impact Omnihammer

Old Spice — Best Ads on TV?

17-Feb-10

Harry Allen posted about this, but it’s too good not to share. This ad is the culmination of the barmy series of ads that started with Bruce Campbell singing “Hungry Like A Wolf.” Not only are the ads really funny, they are a mirror maze of masculine signifiers, parodies of masculine signifiers, and affirmations of masculine signifiers. They have a dreamlike quality I don’t see often in advertising, and they look like everyone involved in making the ads is having so much fun it’s hard not to join in.

And I was already a satisfied customer, because most everything else you can get at the supermarket smells like ass to me.

Time for a Buzz Kill — I’m killing Buzz

16-Feb-10

So in the last year I count Google at two strikes. First off Wave is… pretty useless, as it turns out. The one place it would be great — collaboration and ad hoc interest groups — don’t really work so well, primarily for performance reasons. Try loading a wave with 300 entries sometimes. It’s im-fucking-possiblly slow.

Google Buzz is another whiff. I don’t really care about the privacy issues, because I don’t regard GMail as being private. Like any other part of society outside of sitting in the dark in a Faraday cage, it isn’t private unless no one cares.

What bothers me about it is that it looks clumsy. It tells me I have new stuff and if I look at the buzz list, I can’t actually see what’s new. It also tries to aggregate things like Twitter and Google Reader, but provides a vastly inferior presentation. So I end up going back to Twitter or Google Reader to see what’s up. Which means Buzz is just redundant.

At this point, Google has a significant percentage of the smartest programmers and designers on the planet working for them, and lately they’ve been turning out clumsy crap. What’s up with that? I’m so into GMail and Google Reader to organize my online life — they’re pretty much exactly what I need and nothing more. Google Docs means I don’t even have to screw with installing a word processor on my machines.

But when Google fucks up, they put both feet in. Remember before Google Personalized Home Pages started to suck? I’d give them my constructive feedback and criticism, but I’ve never gotten any acknowledgement from them when I’ve tried to contact them about anything, so they might as well be inside a black hole. A black hole that spews internet applications.

South African Kwaito — Some Ridiculous Great Tunes…

15-Feb-10

Blackdown’s Blog got me going on this kick, but what really got SA on my radar was DJ Mujava’s Township Funk which was an undeniable floor filler from 2008.

I can’t even keep up on Iowa City music, much less America or the world, but the Kwaito stuff is so fresh — it reminds me of the more stripped down UK Funky stuff that’s caught my ear lately. It is another example of the Soca beat being picked up and thrown into the global dance music blender. I made a quick expedition through the Afrodesia MP3 site and picked up a few things, but I’ve barely scratched the surface…

And if that’s not plenty to think about, the Afrodesia site has a crazy selection of stuff from all over the continent, including a boatload of very nice deep house.

Here’s Big Nuz doing his thing, which is apparently rapping in Zulu…

Liaisons Dangereuses – Los Niños Del Parque

12-Feb-10

I noticed DJ Pierre tweeting about “Los Niños Del Parque” by Liaisons Dangereuses, and checked out the Youtube video that was making the rounds. This is apparently a miniature Twitter phenomenon, so I’m jumping on a bandwagon yet again. Oh well…

Anyway, I went looking for some place to buy the music, and it turns out Hit Thing has re-issued it, so I ordered it. In the meantime I found it on the Internets. Below is my ‘refix version’ — I tweaked the EQ and compression for modern DJ’ing, and warped it to steady 116 BPM. The original was a fairly constant 114, but I think there are a couple of clumsy tape edits or stretches in it to throw it off here and there.

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http://www.cornwarning.com/xfer/LiaisonsDangereuse-LosNinosDelParque.mp3
LiaisonsDangereuse-LosNinosDelParque.flac

Sample Sounds of the MRI Scanner

12-Feb-10

Recorded these for a guy here at the University, but there’s nothing proprietary about them, so hey, let’s share?

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‘BIDE’

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Diffusion Tensor Imaging

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Fluid Attenuation Inversion Recovery

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Gradient

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K.I.S.S.

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R.A.G.E.

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T1

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T2

All files here.

Elon James White’s “13 Black Truths”

06-Feb-10

I’ve been accused of stating the obvious like it’s my own personal revelation. But it’s hard to know sometimes when the blindingly obvious is just blindingly obvious, and when it still needs saying. Elon James White is like Professor Frink: He makes you laugh, he makes you think.

Thurs Afternoon Punk Rock Party: U.K. Subs

04-Feb-10

A used bin find: U.K. Subs “The Singles 1978-1982″

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She’s Not There by U.K. Subs


And the original.

Some Beats From the Vault…

03-Feb-10

These came up on shuffle play today and I decided I still really liked them. I put them together well over 10 years ago, when I was hanging out with Hip Hop producers a lot.

“Heavy Spritzer Twist” is heavy on the Hoagy Carmichael samples, with some Ahmad Jamal on the chorus. “Nat” is as the title suggests, made with Nat King Cole samples.

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http://cornwarning.com/chaircrusher/Chaircrusher-HeavySpritzerTwist.mp3

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http://cornwarning.com/chaircrusher/Chaircrusher-Nat.mp3

Sam Locke-Ward & Kate Kane – Live @ Java House 2010-01-29

02-Feb-10

The Java House has been branching out into having more live performances of late, and a week after a wonderfully raucous show at the Mill, Kate (of Lipstick Homicide & Boo Hoos) and Sam (of Miracles of God & SLW & the Boo Hoos) did an acoustic show. Pictures by the lovely and talented Barefoot Adrianne

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http://music.cornwarning.com/audio/2010-01-29 Kate Kane.mp3

Kate Kane

Kate Kane

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http://music.cornwarning.com/audio/2010-01-29 Sam Locke-Ward.mp3

Sam Locke-Ward

Sam Locke-Ward

Awesome Bunker Nights @ Unsound Festival

01-Feb-10

The Unsound Festival in New York City is going to be a humdinger. But I want to hype especially the Bunker events put on by my old friends at Beyond. Each night has some great performers scheduled. Not only the US premier of the wonderful NewWorldAquarium, but a rare NYC DJ set by the should-be-legendary Anthony “Shake” Shakir.

I first saw Shake spin on my first trip to Detroit in 1994, at a party for the closing of Dan Bell’s 7th City distribution, playing an impossibly funky down-tempo set. Every time I’ve seen him play since is a reminder that there are very few DJs in the world who love music with Shake’s unique combination of childlike glee and deep erudition.

Iowa City Punk Rock Show 1-23-2010 — sets uploaded

28-Jan-10

Some of my friends played a hot show (including the inimitable Hott!) last saturday night:

http://music.cornwarning.com/live-the-mill-2010-01-23-old-pantherhottlipstick-homicideslw-the-boo-hoos/